Is Forgiveness Possible When It Involves Child Abuse?
The word "forgiveness" is laden with meaning and misunderstanding. We were all taught that nice girls and boys forgive and forget. The clear message is that we are expected to forgive anyone who has...
View ArticleWhy Boys Do Not Tell About Sexual Abuse
The dark cloud over Penn State revealing a sexual abuse scandal also holds a painful overcast shade for male victims of sexual abuse. The news of the cover-up and victimization of boys at this...
View ArticleAre You “Recovering” from the Merry! Merry! And the Ho! Ho! Ho's?
It happens every year. As the holidays approach, therapy sessions turn to discussions about seasonal plans and reconnecting with family of origin. Outside of the office, friends and family begin the...
View ArticleThe Legacy of Distorted Love: Post-Romantic Stress
What did you learn about love in childhood?read more
View ArticleA Differential Diagnosis for Whining
"Don't bitch and moan!""Get over it already!""Look for the good... quit complaining!" Sound familiar?read more
View ArticleHelp! I'm Divorcing a Narcissist
Although there is some truth that who we marry reflects our own emotional development, there is also a different and more complicated flavor involved when one is drawn into a narcissist's world.read more
View ArticleWhen Mother’s Day Hurts
I’ve invited a guest writer to join me in writing about Mother’s Day this year. Peg Streep, author of Mean Mothers, co-authored the following piece.read more
View ArticleThe Mirror Speaks in the Mother-Daughter Connection
Having studied mother-daughter connections for twenty years, as well as writing about maternal narcissism, I find a misnomer that keeps rearing its unexpected head. Mother’s Day is approaching and this...
View ArticleIt’s All About Me! Recovery for Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents
“If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother!” I guess this quote came from Freud, the father of psychology? Well, that could bring a whole bag of analysis and interpretation, but what’s really significant...
View ArticleWhy Boys Do Not Tell About Sexual Abuse
The dark cloud over Penn State revealing a sexual abuse scandal also holds a painful overcast shade for male victims of sexual abuse. The news of the cover-up and victimization of boys at this...
View ArticleWhen Madness Hits the Home Front
Does life really have to be a series of grief and goodbyes? Are you tired of people saying, “your parents did the best they could” and “get over it already!?”read more
View ArticleShaming Children Is Emotionally Abusive
I recently attended a social gathering with friends, family, strangers and a bunch of cute kids. As the day ended and goodbyes were shared, I over heard a six-year-old quietly ask her mother for...
View ArticleIntolerance of Difference
I’ve always carried a belief that the biggest problem in the world is intolerance of difference. It appears to be a causal factor in war, racism, sexism, child abuse, domestic violence, marital...
View ArticleWhat Is A Difficult Child?
I recently had the opportunity to appear on the Dr. Phil Show and he graciously endorsed my book; Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. The show was difficult,...
View ArticleWill I Be Good Enough For Santa?
Last year around this time I was having a discussion about the holidays with two brilliant five-year-olds. They both had the family tradition of making that wish list for Santa. One of them was...
View ArticleThe Sandy Hook Tragedy: A Family Therapist Perspective
This season, we gather together with friends and family, and cannot help but feel deeply touched by the tragedy of December 14th in Newtown, Connecticut. As a nation and around the world it is an...
View ArticleIs Self-Care Selfish?
Remember the old cliché? “Take care of yourself first or you will have nothing left to give others.” Or, “ we can’t give what we don’t have.” But what is self-care really? Why is it so difficult and...
View ArticleWill I Ever Be Good Enough?
Adult children of narcissistic parents commonly grow up with this nagging feeling that they flunked childhood and it’s all their fault. They internalize the message they are not good enough no matter...
View ArticleAre You Worried You Might Be A Narcissistic Parent?
What is the cornerstone of maternal or paternal narcissism? Do you worry you might be a narcissistic parent? Most of us with children hold the value that we would never consciously do anything to harm...
View ArticleFrom Sandy Hook, to Boston, to The Jody Arias Trial
Are we all suffering now from PTSD? Post traumatic stress disorder is best understood as a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. It can be caused by life threatening events as well as emotionally...
View ArticleWhen Mothers Day Hurts
Nobody wants to be a "Debbie Downer" on Mothers Day. Its a blessed and sacred institution and should be. It is certainly one of the most beautiful things about being a woman. To awaken on Mother's Day...
View ArticlePlant Both Feet In Relationships!
Do you struggle with trust or commitment? “I can’t seem to commit in relationships.” “I choose people who don’t commit.” “I start out fine, but something happens and I opt out.” “I find someone I’m...
View ArticleNarcissists Are Not Accountable
Lack of accountability is a pet peeve for sure, and also a common problem with narcissists. Although there are many disturbing factors in the personality of a narcissist, this one is tough to deal with...
View ArticleMothers Who Are Jealous of Their Daughters
When I was writing the book Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, I found that I heard certain kinds of painful stories over and over again, like themes in a piece...
View ArticleDo You Attract Narcissists as Friends?
I recently got an email from a lovely woman saying she feels she repeats the dynamic she had with her narcissistic mother in her choice of friends. She says she befriends narcissistic women, who then,...
View ArticleWhere Was Daddy?
The family with a narcissistic mother operates according to an unspoken set of rules. Children learn to live with those rules, but they never stop being confused and pained by them, for these rules...
View ArticleDo Holiday Expectations Cause You Angst? 12 Ways to Help
Expectations can get us in trouble during the holiday season. Why is it that we somehow still hang onto the vision that we can suddenly transform the family into what we want during the holidays and...
View ArticlePost-Romantic Stress
With Valentine's Day here, the topic of love is hot stuff. Will you be my Valentine? Will we love 'til death do us part? Is unconditional love even possible in romantic relationships? Did I learn how...
View ArticleDo You Feel Not Good Enough?
Have you wondered where your internalized message of “I’m not good enough,” comes from? Do you feel you give life your best, work hard, try hard, but still can’t give yourself credit? Are you...
View ArticleChecklist: Is Your Partner a Narcissist?
The label narcissist is used loosely these days, typically to indicate someone who is vain and selfish, but the personality disorder and the traits of narcissism run much deeper than this and carry...
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